Tomorrow's the big ONE

Everett Knight turns one tomorrow.

He made it to one. We made it to one. Oh, what a year.

My emotions have surprised me this week. I have felt excited and happy and grateful--always, ALWAYS, grateful. But I've also felt really sad thinking back on this time last year. What was supposed to be such a joyous event, the birth of our new baby boy, was overshadowed with a heart anomoly. The pain of Everett's diagnosis and subsequent surgeries is still fresh, although somewhat buried in busyness, and remembering last year brings those raw feelings to the surface. It's only been a year and it's already been a year--I don't know which one applies. I know we are blessed and I know we've had it so, so good...but instead of bringing me peace that knowledge has made me feel a little guilty and a little scared for the next thing that could/will go wrong. My heart has had an interesting week. 

{precious little Everett sleeping in my lap at 24 hours old, right before the diagnosis}

But last night, as I sat thinking, thinking, thinking about this year and trying to make sense of my feelings, I received some helpful inspiration. This weekend, I realized, was meant to be spent celebrating the BIRTH of my beautiful, strong, snuggly son Everett, not "celebrating" his diagnosis. Everett has congenital heart disease and our family is proud of that and proud of his strength in the CHD journey {and frankly, we love to celebrate/honor CHD as often as possible}, but Everett is not congenital heart disease--he is so much more than that.

So tomorrow, instead of feeling sad or anxious, I am going to remember that one year ago we were given a very special gift from a loving Heavenly Father--a precious little boy who has taught us about faith, who has taught us about love and who has been a blessing every single day of his life. I am going to honor a baby who loves to scoot on his bum, who laughs when you sneeze, who gives open-mouth kisses and loves to eat vegetables and fishy crackers (and just about anything else you give him). I am going to reflect on how perfectly beautiful he was at birth and how peaceful that first day with Everett was--him laying on my chest and visitors expressing their love. And when he stands up on a piece of furniture and smiles the biggest, cheesiest, proudest smile you've ever seen, I am going to smile right along with him. 

{June 28, 2012. can't wait to shar all of his birthday pics!}



Yep, tomorrow I am going to party hard because this little boy is one and this little boy is mine. 

I love that little Evie McEverson.